Questions to ask your Doctor, Family & Clergy

Ask your Doctor -- Ask your Family -- Ask your Clergy

The following questions might work well as a starting point to further discussion.

Ask Your Doctor. . .

• Will you talk openly and candidly with me and my family about my illness: (I want a doctor who will talk openly and candidly with me and my family about me illness.)
  
  
• What decisions will my family and I have to make, and what kinds of recommendations will you give to help us make these decisions?
  
  
• Will you go to bat for me with my insurance provider/or health plan, if you believe that their managed care decisions are not in my best interest?
  
  
• What will you do if I have a lot of pain or other uncomfortable symptoms?
  
  
• How will you help us find excellent professionals with special training when we need them? For example, medical, surgical and palliative care specialists, clergy, social workers, etc.
  
  
• Will you let me know if treatment stops working so that my family and I can make appropriate decisions?
  
  
• Will you support me in getting hospice care?
  
  
• What will you do to make sure that you always listen to me and my family?
  
  
• If I reach a point where I am too sick to speak for myself, how will you make decisions about my care?
  
  
• Will you still be available to me even when I'm very sick and close to the end of my life?

Ask Your Family. . .

• Will you seek out information about my disease, advance directives, your roles as caregivers, and what to expect as I get sicker and near the end of life?
  
  
• If I cannot communicate for myself, will you go to bat for me to make sure that what I've asked for is done, even if you would make different choices yourself?
  
  
• Will you talk with me openly and lovingly about any unfinished business between us and listen if I need to apologize or ask forgiveness for anything in the past that has hurt you?
  
  
• Will you talk with me about my coming death-my fears, my sorrow, my joys and gratitude?
  
  
• Will you find care for yourself so that you are not too drained by my illness?
  
  
• Will you stay with me even if the going gets rough?

Ask Your Clergy. . .

• Will you understand and support my need for my spiritual self to be nourished and to grow, even as my physical being deteriorates?
  
  
• If I have negative feelings like frustration, sadness, despair, anger at God or life, will you listen empathetically?
  
  
• Will you help me if I have problems communicating with my family or friends?
  
  
• Will you continue to visit me even if I get very sick or it is difficult to talk with me?
  
  
• Will you just sit and be with me, even if I don't want to talk?

Click here to read the "Pain Care Bill of Rights"

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